Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said β€˜Nope, too freaky!’

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡· has copied:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ή has copied:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡΄ has viewed:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¨ has viewed:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡± has downloaded:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡² has viewed:

A weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub sounds perfect right now.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡² has copied:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,387

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Live now on X:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

Just landed via Twitch:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Just landed via Twitch:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

Just landed via WeChat:

The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Witty quote about worrying and anxiety with a humorous twist.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew worrying had such a high success rate? πŸ€” Maybe I should worry more about winning the lottery! πŸ’ΈπŸ˜… Watch out, universe, here comes my worry game strong! 🌟 #WorryChampion"

, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going πŸ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Twitch this month:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

25 shares on X this month:

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

95 shares on Slack this month:

I think probably the reason some people look better at 30 than at 20 is because they’re wealthier.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

Commenting β€œAI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.

34 shares on Discord this month:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

Thank God for headphones and day dreaming.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I miss you (the money I spent).

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a GjΓΆrfbunkle.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,485

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ί has copied:

I’m here by unpopular demand.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡· has shared:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ό has viewed:

BREAKING: OpenAI to partner with OpenAI to help fund OpenAI. OpenAI up 90%.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡­ has downloaded:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡» has viewed:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡· has downloaded:

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¦ has viewed:

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¨ has downloaded:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡© has viewed:

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¨ has viewed:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via TikTok:

Therapists are like, β€œYou don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

Just landed via TikTok:

Bragging about how I’ve β€œreally turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Just shared via TikTok:

You amuse me, Jester. You may enter my bed chambers.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

Seen just now on Messenger:

When someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Seen just now on Instagram:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

Trending via WeChat:

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

Seen just now on YouTube:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Β© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❀️ in Sydney β˜€οΈπŸŒ΄