Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who knew worrying had such a high success rate? 🤔 Maybe I should worry more about winning the lottery! 💸😅 Watch out, universe, here comes my worry game strong! 🌟 #WorryChampion"

90, anxiety, happen, humor, i, irony, life, never, seems, things, working, worry, worrying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

0

2 months ago

am, child, decoration, ears, humor, i, parent, parenting, parenting struggles, struggles, toddler
One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

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2 months ago

adulthood, age, birthday, growing, growing up, humor, life, older, reflection, still, today, year
Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

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3 weeks ago

another, daily, daily grind, day, frustration, grind, hamster, hamster wheel, humor, life, monotony, nowhere, repetition, routine, sarcasm, wheel, work, work life
Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

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2 months ago

bed, excuse, humor, i, lazy, potential, procrastination, rot, self-care, sorry, squander, today
“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

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2 months ago

cart, deserve, humor, indulgence, retail, retail therapy, self-care, sh, shopping, therapy, treat, yourself
You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

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2 months ago

driving, existence, fear, ghost, humor, nothing, philosophy, riding, rock, skeleton, space, stardust

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on WeChat this month:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

64 shares on Reddit this month:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

86 shares on X this month:

Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

65 shares on Slack this month:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

15 shares on Reddit this month:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Making art is making love to the world.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Trending via Reddit:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Trending via Pinterest:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

Spotted on Telegram:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Shared recently on Slack:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Spotted on Instagram:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨