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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

My favorite kind of gender reveal is the one where the parents find out, and they just tell everyone through text instead of making me go to a party.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,807

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

Going viral on TikTok:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Going viral on Slack:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Making waves on Messenger:

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

Making waves on Messenger:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

2 days ago

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Commentary:
Santa's got the naughty list and he's not afraid to use it! 🎅⚖️🙈

Christmas, humor, i, meeting, met, real, said, Santa, tonight, trouble, warning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

1 month ago
activity, away, binoculars, distance, everyone, fun, fun activity, memory, nice, nostalgia, perspective, remember, upside, upside down
How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

2 months ago
actually, adult, adult content, age, content, found, humor, innocence, love, old, people, porn, realization, relationship
I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

1 month ago
anything, decay, except, humor, i, indecision, laziness, life, procrastination, romanticize, self-deprecation
Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

1 month ago
answering, call, cell, cell phone, communication, hitchhiker, humor, joke, number, phone, phone call, picking, safety, stranger, unexpected, unexpected call, unknown, unknown number
If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

2 months ago
humor, joke, karate, know, money, pay, self-defense, stuff
I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

4 months ago
dialogue, head, humor, internal, internal dialogue, me, much, self, self-doubt, starting, think, voice

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Is this simulation from Temu?

Spotted on X:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

Making waves on Instagram:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Just landed via Reddit:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Making waves on Telegram:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If your family starts fighting on Thanksgiving, go live.

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

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Activity Log ✨

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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