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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ญ has copied:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ด๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ป has downloaded:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฑ has copied:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has bookmarked:

What doesnโ€™t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต has shared:

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

761 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,923

Funny Quotes Topics

13,892

Funny Quotes Images

10,923

Updated

45 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Trending via Snapchat:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Going viral on TikTok:

Itโ€™s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Broadcasted on Telegram:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because theyโ€™re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Just landed via TikTok:

My life is based on a true story.

Just shared via Instagram:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Trending via Pinterest:

If you donโ€™t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Iโ€™m not even sure what Iโ€™m doing on this planet.

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"Nothing like a good ol' cup of coffee to trick the IT guy into thinking you're a tech genius! โ˜•๏ธ๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ˜„ Just remember, the real power of Java is the coffee kind, not the programming language!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ“ˆ

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

761 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,923

Funny Quotes Topics

13,892

Funny Quotes Images

10,923

Updated

45 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡พ has shared:

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ป has viewed:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has bookmarked:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has viewed:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ป has bookmarked:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ญ has bookmarked:

Iโ€™ve got a headache, and itโ€™s affecting my entire future.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

Going viral on TikTok:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Just shared via Discord:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

Seen just now on X:

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Bro, youโ€™re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and youโ€™ll be fine.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Sorry Iโ€™m late. Itโ€™s just because of who I am as a person.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

Live now on WeChat:

Everybodyโ€™s back hurts until itโ€™s time to have sexy time.

Making waves on Twitch:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Reported on Threads:

Iโ€™m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

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