Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Trending via Pinterest:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Making waves on Reddit:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

Just landed via Threads:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

Spotted on TikTok:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Going viral on Facebook:

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Spotted on Telegram:

Death by a thousand stupid questions.

Shared recently on Threads:

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

Just landed via TikTok:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
😂😆 "Guess that's one upgrade AI programmers aren't rushing to install! #UnmatchedHumanTalent"

AI, emotion, human, human emotion, humor, machine, me, much, never, put, replace, replacement, self-loathing, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

0

2 months ago

conversation, dating, dude, every, girl, humor, inbox, self, talking, texting
I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

0

5 months ago

bad, bad weather, humor, i, nature, offended, rain, weather
If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

0

2 months ago

aliens, believe, commercials, dialogue, humor, observation, pharmaceutical, satire, walk, writing
One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

0

2 months ago

adult, adulthood, being, box, cardboard, cardboard box, clutter, debate, decision making, everyday, everyday struggle, good, humor, humor about adulthood, much, over, procrastination, self-debate, storage, struggle, thing, time, yourself
The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

0

2 months ago

child, discipline, family, humor, know, middle, middle name, name, parenting, purpose, trouble
My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

0

2 months ago

frustration, grocery, grocery store, humor, line, patience, shopping, slow, store, superpower

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

74 shares on Discord this month:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Seen just now on Telegram:

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Going viral on Twitch:

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

Spotted on Messenger:

Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

Spotted on Twitch:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨