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Oops! Looks like we're matching boo-boos now 🐶💅➡️👆😭
Author Archives: slickboy
The ROI on keeping your mouth shut is extremely high.
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Silence is golden, but my ROI from it is platinum! 😂🤐💸
There cannot possibly be an evolutionary advantage to snails being that slow.
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Slow and steady wins the race, but snails definitely took the scenic route! 🐌⏳😆
You gotta leave them nothingburgers alone, and come date a Burger King.
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When you're ready to upgrade from "meh" to "all hail the king" in the dating menu 🍔👑
Submitting job applications these days is a lot like when you were younger and you’d write letters to Santa.
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Applying for jobs today: Dear Employer, I've been very good this year and all I want is a new job under my career tree! 🎅📄🎁
The cyclist is a disarming evil; he possesses all the arrogance of the driver, with all the victim complex of a pedestrian.
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Perfect blend of road royalty and footpath fantasy on two wheels! 🚴♂️👑🤦♀️
Asking a guy on the plane to switch seats so I can sit with his family.
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Attempting to reunite with my long-lost airplane family, one awkward seat swap at a time! ✈️😂👨👩👧👦
I love saying “sounds good” at work when I couldn’t care less.
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"Got my PhD in ‘sounds good’ and a minor in ‘nodding along’ 😂👍"
The real reason why I don’t like picnics is because we sit on the grass and there’s nothing to lean against.
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Grass seating is nature's way of saying, "Here's a core workout you didn't ask for." 🌿💪😂
Petition to start naming heatwaves after oil companies and wildfires after their CEOs.
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Turning up the heat on accountability, one wildfire at a time 🔥🌡️ #ExxonInferno #BPBlaze