Commentary:
Must be that pesky self-respect upgrade kicking in 😂💁♀️🔧
Author Archives: slickboy
Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.
Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, just reach for the Diet Coke instead 🍋➡️🥤🔫😅
I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.
Commentary:
"Friends who build pillow forts together, stay together 🏰😂🛌"
For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.
Commentary:
Sounds like I need to add "mind reader" to my resume… or maybe just "professional forgetter"! 🙃🧠🚶♂️
Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.
Commentary:
Guess we swapped berries for taxes and deadlines! 😂🍓📅
I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.
Commentary:
Locking eyes over a hot dog showdown 🍴👀🌭 Let the awkwardness begin!
God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.
Commentary:
When the universe says 'shop till you drop,' but your wallet says 'drop till you stop' 🛍️😅💸
So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.
Commentary:
They're judging, but I've got my X-ray vision on, so who's the real hero here? 🦸♂️👀🔍
Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.
Commentary:
Napping in jeans: the ultimate hardcore level of comfort! 😴👖🖤
Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.
Commentary:
Can confirm! My brain cells take a vacation every time I read a "there, their, they're" debate! 🧠✈️😂