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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I hate world events. I have problems of my own to worry about.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,710

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Just shared via TikTok:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Trending via WhatsApp:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Just shared via WeChat:

Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

Making waves on Messenger:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Just landed via TikTok:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Seen just now on Twitch:

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Well, how dare they serve me a reality check when I already ordered a full course of drama! 🍽️😤📦

attitude, determination, different, frustration, humor, i, light, mind, mindset, mood, negative, negativity, perspective, rude, sarcasm, somebody, something, stand, upset

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

2 months ago

bathroom, blow-dryer, convenience, free, frustration, hotel, humor, travel
I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

2 days ago

ambition, boy, humor, i, life, me, pray, prayer, relationship, top, win, wish
Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

2 months ago

asking, awkward, before, dental, dental visit, dentist, fingers, humor, humorist, joke, mouth, prank, question, silly, sticking, visit
How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

2 months ago

9, am, ambition, billionaire, comedy, humor, i, management, Monday, motivation, please, success, time, time management, urgency, urgent
Googling symptoms until you cry.

2 months ago

anxiety, cry, diagnosis, Googling, health, humor, internet, search, symptoms
The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

16 hours ago

best, describe, feeling, feels, humor, Monday, say, time, year

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on TikTok this month:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

Never trust a wet fart.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

38 shares on Telegram this month:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

A genie that does my bidding would fix me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Just landed via WeChat:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Just shared via Facebook:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

Spotted on Messenger:

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

Seen just now on Facebook:

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

Seen just now on Instagram:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Going viral on Reddit:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Going viral on Messenger:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Googling symptoms until you cry.

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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