Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

“At your big age” is one of my favorite insults.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,846

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Trending via Telegram:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Spotted on Facebook:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Trending via Facebook:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Seen just now on Reddit:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looking for my microphone so I can double down on my greatest hits 🎤😄 #Unfiltered

again, communication, humor, me, microphone, say, screenshot, screenshots, threat, threaten

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I put the mess in domestic.

1 month ago
chaos, domestic, household, humor, i, mess, put, wit
Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

1 month ago
adult, choice, done, ever, growing, growing up, humor, life, life choice, responsibility, sarcasm, thing, worst, worst thing
I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

1 month ago
business, career, career change, change, half, hogan, Hulk, Hulk Hogan, humor, i, job, job search, looking, mean, motivation, new, relief, ripping, search, shirt, shirt ripping, short, story, stress, stress relief, workplace, workplace humor
They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

2 months ago
finance, goodbye, humor, joke, just, money, sarcasm, say, spending, wit
I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

1 month ago
challenge, compatibility, dating, event, family, family event, humor, marriage, marry, me, partner, person, relationship, social, social challenge, still
When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

1 month ago
assumption, cheese, enriching, food, found, humor, i, life, lifestyle, people, talk

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

Going bananas on Messenger:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Just shared via WeChat:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

Just shared via Threads:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

I put the mess in domestic.

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

My dream car is a taco truck.

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I put the mess in domestic.

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏