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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,350

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Just shared via WeChat:

I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel booking website.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

Just shared via Facebook:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Just shared via Instagram:

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

Going viral on Messenger:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Live now on WeChat:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"If concert tickets reflected your love, I'd be paying in hugs and snacks! 🎟️❤️🍿🎶"

artist, concert, concert tickets, discount, entertainment, humor, music, should, special, super, tickets

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

0

2 months ago

bottle, gym, holder, i, just, put, saw, someone, treadmill, water
“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

0

2 months ago

3, animal, comedy, cow, film, humor, movie, perspective, POV, should, told, Twister
Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

0

2 months ago

again, big, comma, fan, great, humor, i, just, oh, pause, punctuation, read, sentence, writing
One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

0

2 months ago

convenience, daily, daily life, else, experience, favorite, favorite part, grocery, grocery shopping, humor, life, me, parts, shopping, shopping experience, somebody, someone, someone else
My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

0

2 months ago

cutting, cutting off, health, healthy, humor, next, people, revenge, said, therapist, therapy
Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

0

2 months ago

believe, coffee, customer, deal, difficult, difficulty, humor, me, order, sarcasm, Starbucks

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

60 shares on TikTok this month:

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

11 shares on Telegram this month:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

25 shares on Messenger this month:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

This meeting could have been a cake.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Spotted on Instagram:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

Just shared via X:

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

Going viral on WeChat:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Making waves on YouTube:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Live now on Twitch:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If I say I love you, it’s just the apocalypse talking.

Trending via Pinterest:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨