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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,721

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Just shared via Messenger:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Just landed via Facebook:

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Shared recently on TikTok:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

Live now on Slack:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

Just shared via Threads:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

0
Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Dear music-less drivers, are you out here silently contemplating life or composing symphonies in your head? 🤔🧠🎶 #BrainUnplugged"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Discord this month:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The person who invented bowling: “Oh, and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. Clown shoes.”

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

89 shares on Discord this month:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

57 shares on Facebook this month:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,290

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Going viral on Discord:

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Having a daughter is like having a little broke best friend who thinks you’re rich.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I don’t want to exacerbate things. That would just make things worse.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Trending via YouTube:

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Just landed via Discord:

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Shared recently on Slack:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

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