Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Dear music, thanks!

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,267

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Just landed via TikTok:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Trending via Threads:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Breaking via Instagram:

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

Just shared via X:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Are these chairs designed by aliens trying to imagine what humans are? 😂🪑🛸

chairs, design, ergonomics, humans, humor, know, people, questioning, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

0

2 months ago

adulting, anxiety, bills, finance, Halloween, hear, horror, humor, i, responsibility, thing, think, word
You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

0

6 months ago

burning, cd, humor, media, music, never, nostalgia, outdated, outdated technology, shows, technology
Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

0

2 months ago

announce, closed, embarrassment, eyes, eyes closed, health, honesty, humor, i, just, nurse, scale, weight
Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

0

5 months ago

exaggeration, fruit, giving, humor, lemon, lemons, life, me, situation, throwing, unexpected, unexpected situation, watermelon
I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

0

2 months ago

candy, family, fight, floor, front, humor, husband, i, just, kids, parenting, pay, piece, throw, UFC, understand
Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

0

2 months ago

gaslighting, good, good mood, health, humor, mental, mental health, mood, myself, positivity, self-deception, thinking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Twitch this month:

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

95 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

45 shares on Threads this month:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I’ve calculated my December budget and realized I can only afford to pray.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Math is like Chinese to me.

Just landed via WeChat:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Spotted on Twitch:

I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

Just landed via Telegram:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

Freshly posted on X:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

Trending via WeChat:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨