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Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

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Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

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Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

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The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

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Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

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If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

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I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

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I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.