Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

21 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,290

Funny Quotes Topics

17,410

Funny Quotes Images

15,290

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,537

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Trending via Messenger:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Trending via YouTube:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

Just landed via Reddit:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Seen just now on Threads:

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

Just shared via Reddit:

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

Trending via Threads:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

Going viral on Slack:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I prefer my mornings caffeinated, not incarcerated! ☕️😆🔨

aggression, coffee, drinking, frowned, frustration, head, hitting, humor, over, people, sarcasm, shovel, upon, violence

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

0

2 months ago

activity, heat, humor, i, imagine, irony, outdoor, outdoor activity, shoveling, snow, struggle, weather, winter
When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

0

2 months ago

40, age, birthday, growing, growing up, humor, i, kid, nostalgia, older, say, turning, turning 40, wanted
You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

0

2 months ago

calling, cat, communication, end, expectations, frustration, gods, humor, irony, name, naming, only, pet, spend, stop, think, trying
Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, beauty, felony, girl, humor, irony, name, vandalism
I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, always, aunt, family, humor, i, lot, money, myself, realization, responsibility, thought
Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

0

2 months ago

beauty, chin, chin filler, cosmetic, everyone, filler, humor, lip, lip filler, real, villain

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on WeChat this month:

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

96 shares on Discord this month:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

16 shares on X this month:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

Just shared via Pinterest:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Shared recently on X:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Making waves on Messenger:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

Going viral on TikTok:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Trending via WeChat:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Live now on Messenger:

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨