Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΄ has copied:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡· has shared:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Έ has shared:

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡° has downloaded:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

Someone from πŸ‡΄πŸ‡² has copied:

Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ί has viewed:

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,532

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Broadcasted on Threads:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

Live now on Twitch:

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

Seen just now on Reddit:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Trending via LinkedIn:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

They’re making me get out of bed.

Seen just now on Threads:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Spotted on Telegram:

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Funny quote about life’s ongoing struggles, featuring witty humor and a playful tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Still crying, but at least now I understand taxes! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜­ #Adulting"

, , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going πŸ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, β€œYou’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

29 shares on Discord this month:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

53 shares on TikTok this month:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

94 shares on Slack this month:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,334

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡³ has shared:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡± has bookmarked:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Someone from πŸ‡ΌπŸ‡Έ has viewed:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡· has shared:

Parallel parking: where true relationships are tested!

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡· has copied:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¨ has downloaded:

I’m broke β€” I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΅ has shared:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ has copied:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡· has viewed:

Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Trending via Instagram:

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Trending via Facebook:

By my second β€œcould we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Broadcasted on Slack:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Spotted on Reddit:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Β© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❀️ in Sydney β˜€οΈπŸŒ΄