Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,384

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

Freshly posted on Threads:

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

Seen just now on Threads:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

Going viral on WeChat:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Still crying, but at least now I understand taxes! 😂😭 #Adulting"

adult, birth, crying, humor, joke, life, much, perspective, sarcasm, world

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

0

2 months ago

American, American Idle, couch, furniture, humor, idle, laziness, pun, relaxation
Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

0

2 months ago

advice, crazy, humor, little, need, oh, reassurance, relationship, want, women
Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

0

1 week ago

future, future love, humor, introvert, living, living room, love, meant, relationship, room, simply, single, teleport
I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

0

4 months ago

actually, before, birthday, check, communication, expectation, happy, honesty, humor, i, interaction, me, memory, social, social interaction, tell, told
Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

0

2 months ago

bon, Bon Jovi, humor, journey, jovi, least, music, progress
Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

0

2 months ago

bed, blanket, blankets, book, books, care, cozy, forget, girl, hot, hot girl summer, layers, laying, reading, relaxation, rot, rot girl summer, self, self-care, soft, summer, under

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Slack this month:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

39 shares on Slack this month:

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

19 shares on Slack this month:

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

82 shares on X this month:

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Spotted on Instagram:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

Going viral on TikTok:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Going viral on YouTube:

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

Trending via YouTube:

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

Making waves on Discord:

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

Trending via TikTok:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Just shared via TikTok:

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨