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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Breaking up is fine, but logging me out of your Netflix is crazy.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Before cell phones, if you were bored in public, you had to flip a nickel in the air over and over.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,590

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Live now on Snapchat:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to smart people with a refined sense of beauty.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

Live now on Twitch:

I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Just landed via TikTok:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
"Don't worry, angel, I'll form a support group with the unicorns 🦄 and rainbows 🌈 to handle all this overwhelming perfection!"

angel, arrogance, beautiful, being, confidence, ego, humor, humor quote, me, perfect, sarcasm, self-love, soul, vanity

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Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Reddit this month:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

70 shares on X this month:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

58 shares on Discord this month:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

22 shares on Discord this month:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

49 shares on Discord this month:

You’re still ragebaiting? Everyone is on vagueposting now. Keep up.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

61 shares on Slack this month:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

My mom recently asked me how to take a screenshot. At first, I laughed, but then I remembered she taught me how to tie my shoes.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

Trending via Snapchat:

69 but we both just farting.

Breaking via Instagram:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Shared recently on Discord:

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

Shared recently on Discord:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Trending via Messenger:

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

Making waves on Messenger:

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

Going viral on Facebook:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨