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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I miss when 1K was a lot of money.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,548

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Going bananas on Facebook:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Just landed via Reddit:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Making waves on Facebook:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

0
Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.
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Commentary:
Whoa, looks like we're taking the scenic route to the center of the conspiracy! 🌍✨ Hollow earth: the ultimate underground hangout spot—where the real party's happening beneath our feet. Maybe next, they'll claim the moon is just a fancy flashlight gone rogue! 🚀🌕 Keep your tinfoil hats ready; the earth's just too mainstream! 😂🛸

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Telegram this month:

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

79 shares on X this month:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

43 shares on Threads this month:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

78 shares on Discord this month:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

23 shares on Slack this month:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

32 shares on Slack this month:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,450

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Instagram is literally just screenshots of Twitter.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Live now on Pinterest:

You didn’t lock in hard enough if you’re not feeling asexual.

Going viral on Instagram:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

Going viral on Messenger:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Trending via Pinterest:

Nothing is funnier than seeing how angry someone gets when they realize they can’t manipulate you.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

Spotted on YouTube:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Going bananas on Instagram:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Making waves on Twitch:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

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