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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

24 minutes ago

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Seen just now on Twitch:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Spotted on TikTok:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

Making waves on Reddit:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Seen just now on Threads:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Trending via Facebook:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Going viral on YouTube:

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

2 months ago

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Whoa, looks like we're taking the scenic route to the center of the conspiracy! 🌍✨ Hollow earth: the ultimate underground hangout spot—where the real party's happening beneath our feet. Maybe next, they'll claim the moon is just a fancy flashlight gone rogue! 🚀🌕 Keep your tinfoil hats ready; the earth's just too mainstream! 😂🛸

alternative, alternative theory, conspiracy, Earth, flat, flat earth, hollow, hollow earth, humor, joke, satire, theory, too, where

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

24 minutes ago

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Shared recently on Slack:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Breaking via Snapchat:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Shared recently on Twitch:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Just landed via TikTok:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Shared recently on X:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

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