Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,397

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Just landed via Discord:

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

Freshly posted on X:

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

Shared recently on X:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Seen just now on TikTok:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

Breaking via X:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Just landed via Discord:

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sending a sloth gif and waiting for them to agree might just be the most adorable power move ever 🦥😂

actually, animal, easy, flirting, gif, humor, playful, playful teasing, say, send, small, small animal, submissive, teasing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

0

2 months ago

date, groom, humor, humor quote, invitation, joke, me, social, wedding
I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

0

3 days ago

daily, daily routine, day, every, exercise, fitness, help, honesty, i, know, me, motivation, procrastination, routine, self-awareness, stretching, want
Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

0

2 months ago

beginning, child, ending, humor, learning, life, mommy, parenting, say
Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

0

2 months ago

change, expression, faces, humor, light, lights, people, personality, traffic, traffic light
That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

0

2 months ago

Amazon, awkward, awkward moment, birthday, friend, friends, gift, hour, humor, item, moment, online, online shopping, procrastination, shopping, spend, time, year
When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

0

2 months ago

better, door, hammer, humor, life, nails, resilience, shut, sometimes, stay, stay shut, sure, thing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on X this month:

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

Every ‘c’ in ‘Pacific Ocean’ is pronounced differently.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve noticed the best way to get somebody’s attention is to not want it anymore.

45 shares on Slack this month:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Another year? But the last one got such bad reviews.

94 shares on X this month:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

Shared recently on Discord:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨