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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,948

Funny Quotes Topics

14,755

Funny Quotes Images

11,948

Updated

35 seconds ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Going viral on Reddit:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Just shared via Facebook:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

Seen just now on Discord:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Reported on YouTube:

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Just landed via Messenger:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Making waves on X:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Seen just now on TikTok:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Dracula must have a batty good glam squad for that eyeliner! 🦇🎨✨"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,948

Funny Quotes Topics

14,755

Funny Quotes Images

11,948

Updated

35 seconds ago

Users Online

3,452

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

Trending via Slack:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Just landed via Instagram:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Making waves on TikTok:

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Reported on Instagram:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

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