Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.
  • There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).
  • Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.
  • Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.
  • This entire month could’ve been an email.
  • Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.