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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

21 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,290

Funny Quotes Topics

17,410

Funny Quotes Images

15,290

Jan 2, 2026

3,672

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Just shared via Instagram:

My lips could use some attention today.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Going viral on Facebook:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Spotted on Threads:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

Spotted on Threads:

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

Just landed via Facebook:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

2 months ago

0

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Clams: the original master of hiding in plain sight and making us work way too hard for a tiny snack! 🐚 Maybe they're just teaching us a lesson in the art of patience and perseverance 🤔 or perhaps they're just clamming up when it comes to sharing their goodies! 😄"

alone, amount, clam, feel, food, food humor, funny observation, humor, i, just, leave, leave alone, meat, observation, seafood

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

0

2 months ago

always, blame, humor, i, just, kids, learn, learning, mistakes, okay, parenting, people, responsibility, tell
The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

0

2 months ago

cuisine, eat, fast, fast food, food, french, humor, jokes, only, snails, stereotypes
Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

0

2 months ago

common, common sense, food, fry, girl, humor, just, never, relationship, sense, snack
I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

0

2 months ago

call, clever, clever wordplay, Delaware, delusional, humor, i, identity, self-aware, wordplay
At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

0

2 months ago

agree, agreement, amazing, bra, clothing, comfort, feeling, humor, least, men, relief, take, thing, women
Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

0

2 months ago

acting, apology, behavior, being, humor, i, interaction, just, mirror, people, playful, sarcasm, social, social interaction, sorry, weird, weirdness

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

75 shares on Instagram this month:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

19 shares on Discord this month:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should invent a good thing that happens.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

86 shares on YouTube this month:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

82 shares on X this month:

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

45 shares on X this month:

No one talks about the resentment you have towards yourself after you didn’t listen to your gut.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Unpopular opinion: I do enjoy third-wheeling if the couple is fun.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

21 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,290

Funny Quotes Topics

17,410

Funny Quotes Images

15,290

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,582

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

Why did they call it an AI-generated picture and not a ‘fauxtograph’?

Shared recently on Instagram:

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

Making waves on Snapchat:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Seen just now on Discord:

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

Trending via Messenger:

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I love men with a provider fetish.

Going viral on TikTok:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Going viral on Discord:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

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