Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs shots when you've got binge-watching skills sharp enough to leave your brain feeling fuzzy the next morning? 🍹😜📺 #NetflixNights #HangoverHeroes"

activity, age, forget, fun, fun activity, hangover, humor, Netflix, tequila, wake, wake up, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

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2 months ago

amusement, annoyance, annoyed, attitude, emotion, enter, figure, God, hack, humor, improvement, life, life hack, mindset, mode, motivation, much, positivity, pretty, self, self-improvement, state
Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

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2 months ago

diet, fill, gas, grocery, hack, money, spend, tank
If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

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2 months ago

availability, ever, friendship, here, humor, joke, need, nothing, support
Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

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2 months ago

alien, among, funny observation, humor, i, interaction, live, living, living among, me, observation, people, social, social interaction, undetected
Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

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2 months ago

apology, communication, honesty, humor, i, nothing, sarcasm, say, silence, social, sorry, touch, witty
Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

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2 months ago

closet, feet, fitted, fitted sheet, friends, humor, just, me, mistake, need, parenting, sheet, shitted, shitted feet, son

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

73 shares on Slack this month:

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

29 shares on X this month:

The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

76 shares on X this month:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Spotted on Reddit:

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Making waves on Instagram:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨