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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,536

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.

Spotted on Slack:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Spotted on WeChat:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Spreading quickly via X:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

Shared recently on Twitch:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Going viral on Snapchat:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Just landed via Threads:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Going bananas on Threads:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

678 Funny activity quotes

More funny activity quotes 👇

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

2 weeks ago

activity, breakdancing, ghost, humor, idea, paranormal, right, surprise
As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

2 weeks ago

activity, dip, food, happy, i, joy, snack, something
It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

2 weeks ago

activity, fun, humor, i, mischief, playfulness, shenanigan, time, too
At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

2 weeks ago

activity, appreciation, art, art appreciation, date, else, fun, fun activity, humor, museum, observing, pace, slow, slow pace, walking
Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

2 weeks ago

activity, along, brisk, fog, humor, mind, nature, shoreline, walk
Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

2 weeks ago

activity, funny activity, gardening, house, house plant, humor, indoor, indoor plant, light, nature, next, plant, plants, rain, window
My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

2 weeks ago

activity, dance, dance move, favorite, getting, getting out, humor, move, own, self, trying
My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

2 weeks ago

3, activity, big, fun, fun activity, hobby, humor, napping, relaxation, snacking, yapping
If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

2 weeks ago

activity, before, breaking, breakup, Christmas, date, dating, deviled, deviled egg, egg, eggs, exchange, feeding, fun, fun activity, gift, gift exchange, gifts, start, Thanksgiving
He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

2 weeks ago

activity, death, died, doing, funny activity, gang, gang member, humor, irony, love, member, ticklish, trying

For even more funny activity quotes, hit next 👇

All funny activity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Facebook this month:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

98 shares on Threads this month:

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you don’t like me, remember: it’s mind over matter. I don’t mind, and you don’t matter.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

38 shares on X this month:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

97 shares on X this month:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

40 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

People in 1999 were using the Internet as an escape from reality. People today are using reality as an escape from the Internet.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

One thing I expect that we will learn from the vibe coding era is that most ‘idea guys’ don’t actually have very good ideas.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Trending via Instagram:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Just landed via Instagram:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Making waves on Pinterest:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

Live now on Instagram:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

Activity Log ✨

678 Funny activity quotes

More funny activity quotes 👇

All funny activity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨