Commentary:
Life must have lost my "Do Not Disturb" sign 😂🙄🚫
157 Funny anything quotes
I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.
Commentary:
Time flies when you're procrastinating like a pro! 😅⏳✌️
I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.
Commentary:
Feeling generous until they actually reach out for the 27th time! 😂✉️🙈
Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.
Commentary:
Once this broccoli becomes a lawyer, there are no excuses left! 🌿📚💼
My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making, and now, I can’t read anything.
Commentary:
Looks like the shopping list got a condiment-ary makeover! 🛒📝🍅
My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.
Commentary:
Guess I'm fluent in the language of thoughtful silence! 🤐😂
For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.
Commentary:
Alexa's cousin: the ultimate selective hearing expert! 🤐👂😂
Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.
Commentary:
Looks like it's time for a doughnut support group for neglected bagels 🍩🥯😅
People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.
Commentary:
Sounds like my social life is just a sitcom without a script! 🤷♂️🎭✨
I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.
Commentary:
Sounds like I'm living in the Netflix original series: Procrastination and Chill 📺🍟🛋️