Funny arrest quotes

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  4 weeks ago

  Share →: I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

  Commentary:
  🎉😂 "Sounds like you're about to break some cake-smashing records instead of laws! Keep up the clean streak! 🎂🚓"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

  Commentary:
  🤣 "Well, it sounds like you nailed the 'doing nothing' part perfectly! Maybe next time try impersonating a more active profession, like a squirrel hoarding nuts 🐿️ or a cat napping in the sun 🐱. Good luck dodging the long arm of the law, my politically inert friend! 🚔"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

  Commentary:
  "Ah, yes, the classic 'weird mood house arrest' – where fuzzy socks become your best friends and pajamas are the official uniform 🧦🏠 Might as well start a pillow fort and declare yourself the king/queen of the living room while you're at it! 👑 #MoodSwingsGotNothingOnMe"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a phone call when you can document your epic adventure in jail with a sassy IG story? 💁🏻‍♂️📸 #Cellfie #ArrestGoals"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the sweet liberation of house arrest – where the only ankle you need to monitor is the one kicking back on the sofa! 🏠⛓️ Embracing that stage in life where pajamas are the new power suits and Netflix is the ultimate escape plan. Who needs the great outdoors when you've got great indoors, am I right? 😉 #HomebodyGoals

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