18 Funny awake quotes

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025

Just because I'm awake doesn't mean I'm ready to do things.

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Funny Quotes Jan 20, 2025

Sleeping is nice, because you're not actually dead and you're not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

Funny Quotes Jan 20, 2025

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Funny Quotes Jan 19, 2025