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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Fries, not lies.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Twitter is an abusement park.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

Updated

51 minutes ago

Users Online

3,461

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

Trending via Facebook:

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

Trending via WeChat:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Trending via Twitch:

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Reported on Snapchat:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Trending via Pinterest:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Going viral on WeChat:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

Updated

51 minutes ago

Users Online

3,454

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Just shared via Slack:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Live now on Threads:

When did making sense stop making sense?

Reported on WhatsApp:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Reported on X:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

Shared recently on Threads:

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

Just landed via Messenger:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

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