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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log âœĻ

Someone from 🇭🇚 has shared:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Someone from ðŸ‡đ🇭 has viewed:

Nothing more humbling than being at a karaoke birthday party with a bunch of singers.

Someone from ðŸ‡Đ🇊 has downloaded:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Someone from ðŸ‡ŊðŸ‡ē has viewed:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Someone from 🇊🇎 has copied:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

Someone from ðŸ‡Ķ🇎 has bookmarked:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Someone from ðŸ‡ĩðŸ‡ą has shared:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Someone from ðŸ‡ģ🇷 has shared:

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

Someone from ðŸ‡ĩðŸ‡Ķ has downloaded:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Someone from ðŸ‡ļðŸ‡ī has shared:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Funny Quotes Data ðŸĪ“

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2415 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,577

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Social Media Log ðŸ’Ŧ

Going viral on Reddit:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

Live now on Twitch:

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

Trending via Messenger:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Going viral on Telegram:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Spotted on Discord:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Just shared via X:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Just landed via X:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Just shared via Reddit:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌ïļ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂ðŸ’Ĩ

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Funny Quotes Data ðŸĪ“

New Funny Quotes

2415 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,577

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,577

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

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Activity Log âœĻ

Someone from ðŸ‡ąðŸ‡Ū has bookmarked:

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

Someone from ðŸ‡ąðŸ‡Ū has shared:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

Someone from 🇧ðŸ‡Ķ has bookmarked:

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

Someone from ðŸ‡đðŸ‡Đ has shared:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Someone from 🇎🇧 has bookmarked:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

Someone from ðŸ‡ŊðŸ‡ĩ has shared:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from ðŸ‡ĩ🇭 has copied:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

Someone from ðŸ‡ēðŸ‡đ has copied:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

Someone from ðŸ‡ŦðŸ‡ē has viewed:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Someone from 🇊ðŸ‡ļ has viewed:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Social Media Log ðŸ’Ŧ

Seen just now on Discord:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Making waves on WeChat:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Just shared via Discord:

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

Trending via Twitch:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Making waves on Twitch:

This post is highly top-secret. You need to forget that you’ve seen it immediately.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Just landed via Messenger:

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

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