Commentary:
When it comes to cheese, my heart says "just keep grating" and my wrist says "seriously, I'm tired now" 🧀❤️😂
158 Funny cooking quotes
The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face.
Commentary:
Pasta steam facial: zero dollars, maximum relaxation 😉🍝💨
Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.
Commentary:
When foreplay involves potatoes, I'm all in! 🥔🔥😂
I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.
Commentary:
Trying to shock Gordon Ramsay with my culinary restraint! 😅🔪🥣
Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.
Commentary:
Who knew being my own chef would make me a master at converting hours into cents! 🍳⏳💰
Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.
Commentary:
Why not chat with the void? It always has the best (and darkest) secret recipes! 🍲🌌
People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.
Commentary:
Ah, breakfast chefs in the morning are just overachievers with spatulas! 🥓👨🍳🍳
One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.
Commentary:
I guess my spice rack now outranks my social calendar 😂🍳 #AdultingAdventures
Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?
Commentary:
Can't blame the guy for having high standards… or just not wanting furry sous chefs! 🐀👨🍳🤣
Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.
Commentary:
Pasta crime alert 🚨 Breaking spaghetti? That's a pasta-tastrophe! 🍝🤣