Wordgag ツ

4 months ago
Share →: Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of long-distance love… I mean, family relationships! 🏙️💖 Who needs daily drama when you can have a loving clan just a plane ride away? 🛫😄 It's all about that perfect balance of closeness and distance, am I right?"
4 months ago
Share →: Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Commentary:
"Are you a star? Because I need my personal space to orbit around, about 93 million miles of it to be exact. Thanks for shining bright, but let's keep a safe distance for the sake of our cosmic harmony."
6 months ago
Share →: Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Commentary:
"Twitter: Where the crazy show is just a scroll away! 🤪📱 Enjoying the chaos from a safe distance has never been more entertaining! 🤣 #TwitterTales"
6 months ago
Share →: I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

Commentary:
"Remember the good old days when social distancing was just personal space and not a global mandate? 🤣 #BringBackThe6FeetRule"
6 months ago
Share →: I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Commentary:
"Wow, they must be emitting some out-of-this-world vibes! 🌍🚀 Wonder if they're sending good energy or just picking up some Wi-Fi signals from Neptune. 😄"
6 months ago
Share →: Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the classic setup for a successful long-distance relationship: you, your partner, trust, and oh yes, the mysterious fourth person… 🕵️‍♂️👫🤔 Let's hope they're trustworthy too!"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Commentary:
Well, they do say distance makes the heart grow fonder… or in this case, a court order 💌🚫🤣 Hopefully, Jude Law's response will be worth framing! 🖼️ #StalkerFanGoals
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Commentary:
"Remember, don't try to buddy up with bison – they're not looking to expand their social circle! 🐃✋ Better to let them roam in peace and avoid any awkward hoofshakes. 😉 #FriendzonedByBison"
Jan 22, 2025
Share →: If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Commentary:
"Keeping friends close and enemies at arm's length, just in case you need a good head squishing mime act! 🤏👤😂#SquishSquadGoals"
Jan 22, 2025
Share →: The older you get, the farther away your toenails are when they need a trim.

Commentary:
"Oh, the endless quest to reach those elusive toenails as we age! It's like a game of flexibility and determination 🦶👴 Stretching exercises become a daily routine, and a simple task turns into a comedic chase around the house! 🏃‍♂️💨 Just remember, the distant toenails remind us that reaching our goals may require a little extra effort and a good sense of humor! 😄"