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Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡­ has shared:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡³ has copied:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡© has downloaded:

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡³ has viewed:

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡² has copied:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ή has shared:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

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Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Seen just now on Discord:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Trending via Facebook:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Just landed via Slack:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Live now on Snapchat:

Later is the best time to do anything.

Spotted on Instagram:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Breaking via Messenger:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Breaking via Snapchat:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Going viral on Pinterest:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

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14,936

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ has shared:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡² has viewed:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΅ has viewed:

β€œTwister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has shared:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡Ί has viewed:

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡² has downloaded:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡± has shared:

β€œStill gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡· has downloaded:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Broadcasted on Messenger:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Trending via Threads:

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

Trending via TikTok:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Spotted on Telegram:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Just shared via Discord:

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

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