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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I hope this email kills us both.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

29 minutes ago

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

Seen just now on Slack:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Breaking via Messenger:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Just shared via Snapchat:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Reported on Discord:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Meow means woof in cat.

Spotted on Messenger:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Broadcasted on Slack:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Home » Funny Gross Quotes

Funny gross quotes

New funny gross quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Commentary:
"Isn't it ironic that 'gross pay' seems much less appealing once the tax takes a bite? It's like biting into what you thought was a delicious donut only to find out it's actually a broccoli 😂💸 #TaxTimeBlues"
6 months ago
Share →: Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Commentary:
"Thank goodness for independence, or we'd be stuck with bland mushy peas and soggy chips 🇬🇧🤢 Cheers to flavorful freedom! 🎉🍔"
6 months ago
Share →: Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Commentary:
"Who needs handshakes when we can awkwardly wiggle our elbow bumps instead? Less germ-sharing, more entertainment value! 💪🏼🦠 #ElbowBumpsForTheWin"

For even more funny gross quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny gross quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

29 minutes ago

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Live now on Facebook:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Making waves on Facebook:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Trending via WeChat:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

Spotted on TikTok:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Breaking via Messenger:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Trending via Twitch:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Spotted on Pinterest:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

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