Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,265

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Seen just now on X:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Breaking via Telegram:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Just shared via Facebook:

I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Spotted on Slack:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Making waves on Facebook:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Live now on TikTok:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Funny gross quotes

Funny gross quotes are the perfect blend of cringe and comedy 🤢😂! They make you laugh, squirm, and maybe even say ew out loud 🤭💩. Whether you’re looking to prank a friend or just enjoy some silly, weird humor, these quotes bring all the awkward vibes in the best way possible 😜🤪. Get ready to giggle and gag at the same time — it’s all about that delightfully disgusting fun! 🤡🎉

New funny gross quotes 👇

All funny gross quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Twitch this month:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

18 shares on Instagram this month:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

98 shares on Slack this month:

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

51 shares on Discord this month:

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

56 shares on Discord this month:

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

In your 20s, you’ll meet a short man. It’s very important you jump over him.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,311

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

Making waves on Reddit:

I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Shared recently on Slack:

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

Breaking via X:

I’m at the age where any time my mom asks if I remember so-and-so from high school, the news is never good.

Shared recently on X:

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Trending via Threads:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Just landed via Slack:

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

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