Commentary:
"🔥🚗 'Cause rolling through the flames in sweats is just how I tire my attire! 😂👕"
139 Funny humor quote quotes
We’ve got a shituation here.
Commentary:
"Looks like it’s time to call in the poo-lice! 🚨💩😂"
All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.
Commentary:
"Is there a return policy on life choices? Asking for a friend. 🤔😂 #FreeWillFails"
The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.
Commentary:
"Finally, a solution to my 'oopsie' backlog! 🚀😂 #MistakeUpgrades"
You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.
Commentary:
"You're the reason my floodlight has trust issues! 😂💡 #AlwaysOnGuard"
Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.
Commentary:
"Looks like my brain called in sick but forgot to notify me! 🤦♂️🧠🤪"
A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.
Commentary:
“When ‘not looking bad’ is the new ‘you’re stunning’—setting the bar just low enough to trip over! 😂🤷♂️ #TrueRomance #StandardsTooHigh”
I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.
Commentary:
"Same here! I think I left my glass in the Twilight Zone. 🍷🤦♂️ #LostAndThirsty"
The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.
Commentary:
"Can't wait for our 3 a.m. dream meeting! Don't forget to bring the dream snacks! 😴🍕✨"
Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.
Commentary:
"When life gives you lemons, check the fridge – you might have cake! 🍰😂"