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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Freshly posted on Threads:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Spotted on Threads:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

Going viral on X:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

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Funny hypocrisy quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Making waves on WeChat:

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

Just landed via Threads:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Trending via Facebook:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Live now on Discord:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Spotted on Telegram:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Breaking via Instagram:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Going viral on Instagram:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

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