Commentary:
Feeling judged by someone who never even has to count calories 🤨🍕📖
5670 Funny i quotes
I can’t be bothered with people that can’t be bothered.
Commentary:
Sounds like an infinite loop of can't be botheredness 😆🔄🌀
“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.
Commentary:
Feeling like a human battery constantly at 1% 😅🔋📉 #SOSRecharge
Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.
Commentary:
Sounds like you're running a marathon in the procrastination Olympics! 🏃♂️💤📥
I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.
Commentary:
Seems like the world needs a group hug—and maybe a few extra puppies for good measure! 🐶💖😄
My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.
Commentary:
Turning arguments into binge-worthy series since day one! 🍿🎬
Therapy? I have Spotify.
Commentary:
Investing in audio-therapy one playlist at a time 🎧😄
They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.
Commentary:
Thinking about the gym so hard, I almost broke a mental sweat! 🧠💪😂
I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.
Commentary:
Ah yes, the classic tale of the "canine couch coup" 🐶🛏️😂 Looks like you're just along for the ride in their kingdom!
May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?
Commentary:
Only if you promise not to knead my stomach like it's dough! 😹🍞