…
Commentary:
"When life gives you lemons, just sigh and go, 'Why am I not surprised, citrus?' 🍋🤷♂️😆"
1648 Funny just quotes
Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.
…
Commentary:
"Shhh, trying to learn the rules of baseball over here! 🤫⚾️📚😂"
We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.
…
Commentary:
"Finally found the secret to eternal youth: dodge the TikTokers! 😄🕺👵 #ModernDaySorcery"
I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.
…
Commentary:
"Love the travel stories, but maybe it's time for a return trip! 🚀😄✈️"
Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.
…
Commentary:
"Wine: the only fitness plan where every glass makes your inner model emerge 🍷💃✨"
Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”
Commentary:
"Sounds like you're just one culinary mystery away from a Michelin star! 😂🍽️🔍"
Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.
Commentary:
"Twins who missed the memo on matching outfits 😂👯♂️ Should've scheduled that arrival time better! ⏰"
She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.
Commentary:
"Quick, someone call Ripley's Believe It or Not! 😆📵📱"
I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.
Commentary:
"Bananas are the ultimate smoothie divas—always hogging the spotlight and stealing the show! 🍌✨😆"
“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.
Commentary:
Haha, now that's what I call a strong password! 💀🔒😂