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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

Updated

37 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Trending via Instagram:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Seen just now on TikTok:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Just landed via Instagram:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Going viral on Discord:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Just landed via Slack:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Making waves on Telegram:

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

Spotted on Instagram:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

Updated

37 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Twitch:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

Making waves on WeChat:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Just landed via LinkedIn:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

Seen just now on Slack:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Going viral on Facebook:

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

Spotted on Messenger:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Seen just now on Discord:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

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