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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Making waves on TikTok:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Seen just now on Slack:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Making waves on Slack:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Making waves on TikTok:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

You only live once and thank God for that.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Spotted on Twitch:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Trending via Slack:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Just landed via WeChat:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Spotted on Instagram:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

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