Funny percentage quotes

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

  Commentary:
  "Forget rain chances, I need to know if my lost socks will blow back home! "

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

  Commentary:
  Well, if theft equals swag acquisition, consider me a swag investor! Your stolen style is a direct deposit to my fashion fund! #SwagTax #AllFunAndFashion

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone took 'eating your fruits and veggies' a little too literally Just making sure to get your daily dose of fiber… and adhesive! "

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the audacity of the teenage charger negotiator! It's like a high-stakes game of 'Battery Wars' in the house! Next time, maybe we should start charging rent for those borrowed chargers! "

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

  Commentary:
  "Two percent sounds suspiciously vague Who knows what mysteries lie in that remaining 98% – unicorns, aliens, the meaning of life? Let's stick to the sure thing: no milk until we have all the facts! #MilkMystery"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

  Commentary:
  Well, well, well, who knew water could be so smooth with the pick-up lines! Looks like this person is making a splash with their flirting game – who could resist someone with such a refreshing sense of humor? #DiveIntoLove

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