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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Windmill? Big fan.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Dec 12, 2025

3,681

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Breaking via Twitch:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Going viral on YouTube:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

Making waves on X:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Breaking via Reddit:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Home » Funny Pessimist Quotes

Funny pessimist quotes

Funny pessimist quotes bring a 😂 twist to the art of expecting the worst! They turn gloomy thoughts into hilarious insights, making life’s little disasters feel a bit more bearable. Whether you’re a seasoned skeptic or just love a good laugh at life’s quirks, these witty gems will brighten your day with a touch of dark humor 🌧️➡️🌈. Get ready to chuckle at the upside of pessimism! 😎✨

New funny pessimist quotes 👇

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

1 month ago
argument, drank, drinking, glass, glass of water, humor, mindset, opportunist, optimist, perspective, pessimist, water, while, wit
Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

1 month ago
anyone, appreciate, attitude, being, fails, fun, humor, i, i told you so, joy, optimism, pessimism, pessimist, sarcasm, saying, told
My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

1 month ago
asked, bottle, conversation, drinking, empty, half, humor, i, joke, me, pessimist, relationship, said, why, wife, wine, yesterday
Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

1 month ago
comparison, date, empty, excel, full, glass, humor, mindset, optimist, perspective, pessimist
The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

1 month ago
cancellation, group, help, humor, irony, meeting, negativity, pessimist
A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

5 months ago
attitude, hard, humor, just, optimist, personality, perspective, pessimist, playing, playing hard to get

All funny pessimist quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Dec 12, 2025

4,066

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

I love Pinterest. No opinions. No bad vibes. Just pretty pictures.

Spotted on Facebook:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Trending via WeChat:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Seen just now on Slack:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Spotted on Messenger:

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Just shared via Discord:

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

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