54 Funny politics quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs WebMD when you have Google for diagnosis? 😂 Just remember, voting is the best medicine for your election-related symptoms! 🗳️ #ElectionFever"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m a single issue voter. I’m single and it’s an issue.

  Commentary:
  "Who says being single isn't political? 🗳️😂 Don't worry, your relationship status is always on the ballot! #SingleAndReadyToMingle #VoteForLove"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

  Commentary:
  Ah, no wonder some folks confuse touchdowns with treaties! 🏈📜 Who needs a touchdown dance when you can have a historical huddle? 🕰️🏟️ Let's all take a moment to appreciate the importance of a well-rounded education! 📚🌟

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew the scriptwriters for reality were such fans of plot twists 🍿🎬 It's like we're all just living in a never-ending sequel where the bad guys keep getting re-elected! 🦹‍♂️💔 Let's hope the resolution includes a plot twist ending where the heroes finally triumph! 🦸‍♂️✨"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the dilemma of choosing between innocent chatter or the unpredictable chaos! It's like deciding between sticky lollipops and sour lemons 🍭🍋 – pick your poison wisely, folks! Let's hope we can all agree that both topics are best left unsweetened 😜!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the undecided voter – the most sought-after creature during election season! 🤔🗳️ Seeking attention while keeping us all on our toes with those indecisive vibes. Who needs Netflix dramas when we have undecided voters? 😄 #ElectionDrama"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine politicians being chosen like winning lottery numbers – 'And the lucky representative for District 10 is… 42!' 🎲🎉 Who needs campaign promises when you have lady luck on your side? #RandomSelectionForPresidentialElection"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

  Commentary:
  "Nothing like announcing a surprise pregnancy to divert attention from a heated political debate! 🤰🏻🔥 Who needs CNN when you've got this strategic family diplomacy move? 😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine a world where traffic jams are a thing of the past for music lovers! 🕺🚗 Speeding tickets might just become the new gig tickets under this presidency 😂🎶 #FastLaneBeats"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

  Commentary:
  "Breaking News: Future president plans to bend time! 🌀⏳ Say goodbye to rush hour traffic and hello to 'Happy Hour, Part 2'! 🍸🎉 Who needs a TARDIS when we've got a president with time-bending powers? ⏰🇺🇸 #PresidentialPriorities"

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