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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,698

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

Going viral on Slack:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Trending via TikTok:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Broadcasted on Threads:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Just shared via Messenger:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Shared recently on X:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

Broadcasted on X:

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Going bananas on Telegram:

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Funny public transport quotes

Funny public transport quotes are the perfect way to turn your daily commute into a laughter-filled adventure! 🚌😂 Whether you’re squeezed like sardines or stuck in traffic 🚦😅, these witty sayings capture every quirky moment on trains, buses, and subways. Ready to giggle through rush hour? Let’s dive into some hilarious truths about public transport that’ll make you smile even on the busiest days! 🎉🚇🤣

New funny public transport quotes 👇

All funny public transport quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

65 shares on X this month:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

68 shares on X this month:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

12 shares on X this month:

I hope this email kills us both.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

60 shares on Threads this month:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes life is “Eat, pray, love,” and sometimes it’s “Scroll, snack, overthink.”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,360

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

Just shared via WeChat:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Friends with consequences.

Just shared via Snapchat:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Just shared via WeChat:

Every time I turn around, it’s Monday.

Trending via Snapchat:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Just shared via Reddit:

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

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