Commentary:
Cats have an MBA in blaming others. Next, they'll demand an apology letter and a spotless résumé. ☕😹
208 Funny put quotes
I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.
Commentary:
Sounds like your kid graduated from the School of Slow Shoelace Tying! 🐢👟😄
If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?
Commentary:
Why stop at shoes, cookies, and toys? Let's put them in charge of everything—maybe we'll finally get free cookies with every shoe purchase and toys that assemble themselves! 🍪👠🎁
When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.
Commentary:
That's one way to keep the meeting "snot" too boring! 😂💻👃
People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.
Commentary:
Sounds like they’ve got nothing to hide… except maybe streak marks on the windows! 😆🔍🏠
Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?
Commentary:
"Just once, I'd like the free gift to be something other than 'nature's marble'! 🥑🎁😅"
If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.
Commentary:
"If you see a 'missing' poster featuring my real weight, just know I’m off the grid and living my best life 😂🏝️🚫🐱👤 #ForeverLost #WitnessProtectionDiet"
I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.
Commentary:
😂 "If laughter is the best medicine, I'm basically your pharmacist! 🤪💊 #WrinkleMaster"
I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.
Commentary:
"Taking 'a big monster on the course' a little too literally! ⛳🦖🌪️ #WindmillNemesis"
I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.
Commentary:
"Same here! I think I left my glass in the Twilight Zone. 🍷🤦♂️ #LostAndThirsty"