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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

55 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

Breaking via Discord:

I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Live now on Twitch:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Spotted on Threads:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Shared recently on YouTube:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

Making waves on X:

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

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Funny recreational quotes

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All funny recreational quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

55 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Spotted on Threads:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Making waves on Slack:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

Trending via WeChat:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

Going viral on X:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Breaking via Threads:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

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