80 funny run quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

People never run off to join the circus anymore.

May 18, 2026

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

Apr 1, 2026

Instagram should let you extend the run of one story for another 24 hours if the intended target didn’t see it.

Apr 1, 2026

I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.

Apr 1, 2026

I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.

Apr 1, 2026

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

Apr 1, 2026

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

Mar 31, 2026

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

Mar 31, 2026

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

Mar 31, 2026

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

Mar 31, 2026

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Mar 31, 2026

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

Mar 31, 2026

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

Mar 31, 2026

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

Mar 31, 2026

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

Mar 31, 2026

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

Mar 31, 2026

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

Mar 30, 2026

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Mar 30, 2026

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Mar 30, 2026

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Mar 30, 2026

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Mar 30, 2026

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Mar 30, 2026

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Mar 30, 2026

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

Mar 30, 2026

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Mar 30, 2026

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

Mar 30, 2026

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Mar 29, 2026

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Mar 29, 2026

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Mar 29, 2026

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Mar 29, 2026

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

Mar 29, 2026

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

Mar 29, 2026

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Mar 28, 2026

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

Mar 28, 2026

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Mar 28, 2026

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Mar 28, 2026

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Mar 28, 2026

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Mar 28, 2026

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

Mar 27, 2026

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Mar 27, 2026