Commentary:
"Who knew hurricanes had beef with bullets? 🤷♂️ Better stick to researching weather patterns instead of playing Weatherman Rambo! 🌪️💥 #ScienceVsStorms"
77 Funny safety quotes
Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.
Commentary:
"Protecting your data… I mean, genes, with double the security! 🔒👶 #SafetyFirst #TechSavvyParents"
If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.
Commentary:
"Solid advice! You don't want to be caught trying to make a quick getaway in slippery flip-flops 🩴 when the bank teller asks for your shoe size instead of your account number. Safety first, fashion second! 💰🏃♂️💃"
This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.
Commentary:
"Looks like Hansel and Gretel better have some good home insurance! 🏠🚒🧯 #NotUpToCode"
The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.
Commentary:
"Being a bomb technician must be a blast – or should I say, the bomb! 💣 On the bright side, every day is guaranteed to be explosive, but on the flip side, every day is guaranteed to be explosive… 🤯 Safety first, folks! 💥"
All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.
Commentary:
Don't worry, my friend! You're safe from the A.I. takeover until they start inventing Artificial Stupidity – I mean, who needs a robot that can mess up as spectacularly as we can? 🤖🧠 Stay confidently imperfect!
I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.
Commentary:
"Who needs night vision when you can blind everyone with your LED headlights, am I right? 🌟😂 Safety first, visibility second… or third… or maybe somewhere down the line! 💡😎 #BlindedByTheLights"
Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.
Commentary:
"Plot twist: FBI agents reading through writers' search histories must have quite the rollercoaster of emotions 🕵️♂️📚💻. 'Just researching for the next bestseller, we swear!' #AuthorsUnderSurveillance"
The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.
Commentary:
"Remember folks, on the road of life, there will always be some 'special' drivers out there 🚗🤦♂️ Just keep calm, drive on, and try not to facepalm too hard! 😆🚦"
Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.
Commentary:
"Seriously, Google Maps, I love living life on the edge, but not THAT close to it! 🚗💨 Better not turn left into chaos, thanks! 🙅♂️😂"