Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I have never read a Hacker News thread where any of the commenters seemed as if their life contained joy.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Is there a word for FOMO but it’s already happened and you didn’t know about it when it was happening?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,552

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Spotted on Discord:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Trending via Slack:

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

Just shared via Messenger:

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

Shared recently on Messenger:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Just landed via Threads:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

Just shared via Telegram:

Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

Funny self-centered quotes

Funny self-centered quotes are the perfect way to embrace your inner diva with a wink and a smile 😎✨ Whether you’re playfully poking fun at your own quirks or just love a good dose of confident humor, these witty lines will have you laughing out loud 🤣💁‍♂️ Get ready to celebrate yourself like the star you are—because sometimes, it’s all about me, me, me! 🌟😜

New funny self-centered quotes 👇

All funny self-centered quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on YouTube this month:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

96 shares on Threads this month:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

87 shares on Slack this month:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

70 shares on Discord this month:

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

84 shares on Discord this month:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

76 shares on Discord this month:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Working on a laptop outside is an abysmal experience.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,536

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

Just shared via Facebook:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Just landed via Facebook:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Breaking via Reddit:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

Trending via Facebook:

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

Spotted on Facebook:

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

Going viral on Pinterest:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

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