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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

32 minutes ago

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Trending via Discord:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

Seen just now on Messenger:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Spotted on TikTok:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Going viral on Telegram:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

Making waves on YouTube:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Just landed via Instagram:

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Trending via Twitch:

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

Home » Funny Sell Quotes » Page 2

14 Funny sell quotes

More funny sell quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Commentary:
"Selling drugs may not be explicitly mentioned in the Bible, but I'm pretty sure Jesus wouldn't approve of your 'miraculous' herb garden 😄💊 #DivineDeals"
6 months ago
Share →: Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

Commentary:
Oh, the irony of it all! 🙈🦠 It’s a true testament to the unpredictable nature of celebrity endorsements – who knew our fave celebs would turn to cartoon monkeys in times of crisis? 🐒💁‍♂️ Remember, sometimes even the biggest stars make questionable choices while navigating through uncertain times! #PandemicPloys 🌟
6 months ago
Share →: Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

Commentary:
"Who knew betrayal could come with so many transportation options? 🚌💨 Selling someone down the river – because throwing them under the bus is just so last season! 😂🚣‍♂️ #JustCasualBetrayal"
6 months ago
Share →: Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

Commentary:
"Can I sell my feelings on eBay? 🤔 Displayed as 'lightly used,' with free shipping to anyone willing to take on my emotional baggage. 📦♻️💔 #EmoAuction"

For even more funny sell quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny sell quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

32 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

Just landed via Telegram:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Making waves on Instagram:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

Going viral on Discord:

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

Making waves on WeChat:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Just landed via X:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Reported on Slack:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

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