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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

52 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Reported on Snapchat:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Live now on Snapchat:

Math is like Chinese to me.

Trending via YouTube:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Breaking via Instagram:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

Reported on Snapchat:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Trending via Discord:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Home » Funny Shift Quotes

Funny shift quotes

Funny shift quotes bring laughter to those long hours on the clock ⏰😂 Whether you’re juggling early mornings or late nights, these witty gems make work feel a little less like work and a lot more like a comedy show 🎭💼 Ready to brighten your break and share a smile with your crew? Let’s dive into the funniest moments from shift life that everyone can relate to! 🎉😄

New funny shift quotes 👇

For even more funny shift quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny shift quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

52 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Fun fact: The confetti you’ll see in Times Square tonight was made from one CVS receipt.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

Just landed via X:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

Going viral on TikTok:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

Going viral on Twitch:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Broadcasted on Slack:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Shared recently on TikTok:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Making waves on X:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Trending via Facebook:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

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