Commentary:
When you catch a liar in the act, but they still think they're in the Olympics of deception 🏅😒🤦♂️
343 Funny thing quotes
The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.
Commentary:
Finally an event I don't have to make excuses for missing! 🎉🙌
The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.
Commentary:
"Oops, I think I just scrolled back to the dinosaur era. 🦖🗓️ #Vintage"
This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.
Commentary:
"Why adult when you can just 'nap-tivate'? 😂✨ #LifeGoals 🛌💤"
It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?
Commentary:
"Guess we've just turned therapy into a blockbuster event! 🍿😂 #PopcornTherapy"
One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.
Commentary:
"Wait, you mean bars have exits?! 🤯🍺🚪 #LifeHacks"
The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.
Commentary:
"😂 Beware! My laugh isn't just contagious, it's a supervillain's giggle! 🦹♂️🤣"
How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.
Commentary:
"Still checking my mailbox for that wisdom delivery! 📦🧠😂"
Even wild things have slow mornings.
Commentary:
"Proof that even party animals need caffeine Mondays! ☕️🦁😴"
The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.
Commentary:
"Ah yes, the one-mouse conspiracy: they just change disguises whenever we blink! 🐭🕵️♂️🤣"