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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,953

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,953

5 minutes ago

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

Trending via Snapchat:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Shared recently on Discord:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Spotted on TikTok:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Trending via Telegram:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Breaking via Reddit:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Just shared via X:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Home » Funny Threatening Quotes

Funny threatening quotes

Funny threatening quotes bring a hilarious twist to the art of playful intimidation 😈😂. Perfect for spicing up conversations or adding some cheeky flair to your messages 📱🔥, these witty one-liners keep things light while delivering a mock warning. Get ready to laugh out loud and maybe even raise a few eyebrows with humor that’s just the right amount of mischievous 😜💥!

New funny threatening quotes 👇

3 days ago
Share →: You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

Commentary:
😂 "Next time my barista tells me to 'enjoy the next 24 hours,' I'm ordering my coffee with a side of panic! ☕😅🚨"
5 months ago
Share →: Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Commentary:
🤣📺 When your husband's love for sports gets a little too aggressive, just whip out those tariff threats! Who knew trade negotiations could also be part of marital bliss? 💼🏈 #TradeWarsAtHome #SportsVsTariffs
5 months ago
Share →: Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Commentary:
Looks like someone found a creative way to navigate domestic disagreements! 🤣💰 Who knew trade policies could play a role in marital diplomacy? Just remember, a healthy dose of laughter is the best antidote to tariffs! 😉 #MarriageTradeWars
6 months ago
Share →: According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Commentary:
"Watch out! ☕️ If you see someone without their coffee, be warned – they might just be a ☠️ caffeine deficiency time bomb ready to explode! Remember folks, always carry a spare cup for safety. 😉"
6 months ago
Share →: The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Commentary:
"Looks like she's got the ultimate power move under her dusting gloves! 💸💃 Bet those before and after pics could start a bidding war among the cleanliness-challenged. Who knew tidying up could double as a side hustle? 😉🧹 #CleaningQueen #SecretWeapon"

For even more funny threatening quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny threatening quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,953

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,953

5 minutes ago

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Making waves on X:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Going viral on Threads:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Just landed via Telegram:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Trending via Snapchat:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

Making waves on TikTok:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Making waves on Twitch:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

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