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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡· has downloaded:

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her β€œcan I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ has viewed:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

Oops, I accidentally healed too much. I am now uninterested in anyone but mαΊΉ.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ύ has shared:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Έ has downloaded:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ό has shared:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¦ has shared:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% β€œooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,530

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on Reddit:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

Live now on Pinterest:

UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Spreading quickly via X:

I like that linguists chose the term ‘loan words,’ implying that one day we’ll get them back.

Spotted on Instagram:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can die.

Spotted on Discord:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

Live now on Threads:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Trending via YouTube:

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

Funny threatening quotes

Funny threatening quotes bring a hilarious twist to the art of playful intimidation πŸ˜ˆπŸ˜‚. Perfect for spicing up conversations or adding some cheeky flair to your messages πŸ“±πŸ”₯, these witty one-liners keep things light while delivering a mock warning. Get ready to laugh out loud and maybe even raise a few eyebrows with humor that’s just the right amount of mischievous 😜πŸ’₯!

New funny threatening quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny threatening quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sobriety: because my standards got tired of lowering themselves.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

79 shares on X this month:

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

The word β€˜stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan β€˜Dennis’? We could be saying, β€œI dennis Beyonce.”

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My favorite color is sunshine.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

18 shares on Reddit this month:

The amount of people who β€œfind God” after doing something evil needs to be studied.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

71 shares on Threads this month:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

A bird just flew into our glass door. Π†t’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Men be like, β€œI want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,451

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ί has bookmarked:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡· has copied:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

β€œYou’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡° has copied:

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡° has copied:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡¬ has copied:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡² has shared:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ί has shared:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Trending via Threads:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Going viral on Slack:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

Seen just now on Slack:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Live now on Telegram:

β€œYou shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Breaking via Slack:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

Going bananas on Twitch:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

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