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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡· has copied:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡² has viewed:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡» has shared:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡² has copied:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡± has copied:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΄ has viewed:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡¬ has copied:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ό has shared:

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,508

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Pinterest:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Going viral on Threads:

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, β€œI don’t even have a coconut!”

Spotted on Facebook:

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

Going viral on Discord:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

Breaking via Messenger:

You can’t ’48 Laws of Power’ me.

Spotted on Slack:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Shared recently on X:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I remember sex. That was cool.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

Just shared via Telegram:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Funny threatening quotes

Funny threatening quotes bring a hilarious twist to the art of playful intimidation πŸ˜ˆπŸ˜‚. Perfect for spicing up conversations or adding some cheeky flair to your messages πŸ“±πŸ”₯, these witty one-liners keep things light while delivering a mock warning. Get ready to laugh out loud and maybe even raise a few eyebrows with humor that’s just the right amount of mischievous 😜πŸ’₯!

New funny threatening quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny threatening quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

35 shares on Reddit this month:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,415

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΆπŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡© has downloaded:

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ώ has shared:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡§ has shared:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡¦ has copied:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¬ has copied:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ό has shared:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spotted on WeChat:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Making waves on Instagram:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

Spotted on Instagram:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Making waves on WeChat:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Just landed via Twitch:

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

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