75 Funny turn quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic grocery store potty tax scheme! It's like a sneak attack on your wallet from the humble loaf of bread to the royal throne. 🍞💸💩 Keep those eyes peeled for the real MVPs of the grocery game – toilet paper and bank accounts!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew exercise could be this challenging? 🚲💪 Next, they'll ask us to plank while spinning! 🔁😂 #GymProblems"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like God is the new 'it' player in this cosmic game of hide and seek! 🙈 Have fun hiding, but remember, God knows all the best hiding spots! 😉🙏"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

  Commentary:
  When this player has a good hand, you can practically see the dollar signs glowing in their eyes! 💰😂 Bet you can always tell when they've got something good up their sleeve – just look for the shimmer of those big money signs! 👀💲#PokerFaceFail

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the joys of raising teens – the masters of independence and the art of wallet whispering simultaneously! 🤑👩‍👧‍👦💸 #TeenageTales #ParentingAdventures"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal struggle of reading minds while driving 🚗💭 If only cars came with a built-in telepathy feature, the roads would be a much safer and more comical place! Can you imagine the chaos if our vehicles started translating our inner thoughts into blinky lights? 😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs beauty sleep when you can have a golden, aromatic glow instead? 🍗✨ Sweet dreams, delicious rotisserie chicken! Just make sure not to overcook yourself 😉🔥"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal struggle of parents trying to instill the intricate art of light switch operation in their teens! 🤦‍♂️ Here's hoping 2023 brings some enlightenment… quite literally! 💡😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

  Commentary:
  "Forgot my boarding pass, but apparently, the kids have it covered with their thorough bag checks and interrogation skills! 🛃✈️ #ParentingAdventures"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the age-old wisdom of adjusting your senses for optimal performance! Turning down the radio to find a house 🏠 or parking spot 🚗 is like fine-tuning a fancy radio antenna. And taking off your sunglasses 😎 to hear someone better is the ultimate power move – because who knew sunglasses could be the culprit behind missed conversations! 🕶️🗣️ #LifeHacks"

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