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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,702

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

Going viral on Threads:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

Trending via Slack:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

Trending via Facebook:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

Spotted on X:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

Going viral on Slack:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Trending via Telegram:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Funny twin quotes

Funny twin quotes bring double the laughs and twice the mischief 😄👯‍♂️ Whether you’re celebrating sibling shenanigans or just love the unique bond only twins share, these witty words capture the joy, chaos, and endless inside jokes that come with having a twin. Ready to giggle and relate? Let’s dive into some twin-tastic humor that’s as inseparable as the duo themselves! 🎉😂

New funny twin quotes 👇

All funny twin quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

42 shares on Threads this month:

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

23 shares on X this month:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

81 shares on YouTube this month:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

16 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,461

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Shared recently on Messenger:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Live now on Instagram:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Trending via Telegram:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Breaking via Snapchat:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

Going viral on Discord:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Just landed via Twitch:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

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